A friend hosted a dinner party for people from work and everyone was encouraged to bring their children. All during the sit-down dinner one co-worker's three-year-old girl stared at the man sitting across from her. The girl could hardly eat her food from staring.
The man checked his tie, felt his face for food, patted his hair in place, but nothing stopped her from staring at him. He tried his best to just ignore her but finally it was too much for him. He asked her, "Excuse me little girl, but why do you keep staring at me?"
Everyone at the table had noticed her behaviour, and the table went quiet for her response. The little girl said, "My Dad says you can drink like a fish so I just want to see how you do it."
A couples happy married life almost went on the rocks because of the presence in the household of old Aunt Emma. For seventeen long years she lived with them, always crotchety, always demanding. Finally the old girl passed away. On the way back from the cemetery, the husband confessed to his wife, "Darling, if I didn't love you so much, I don't think I would have put up with having your Aunt Emma in the house all those years." His wife looked at him aghast... "What the hell do you mean.... Aunt Emma?" she cried, "I thought she was your Aunt Emma!"
During one "generation gap" quarrel with his parents young Michael cried, "I want excitement, adventure, money, and beautiful women. I'll never find it here at home, so I'm leaving. Don't try and stop me!"
With that he headed toward the door. His father rose and followed close behind.
"Didn't you hear what I said? I don't want you to try and stop me."
"Who's trying to stop you?" replied his father. "If you hang on a minute, I'll go with you."
A man phoned his doctor saying his wife appeared to be having an appendicitis attack. "That's impossible," the physician replied. "She had an appendectomy last year. Why are you bothering me for something as stupid as that? Have you ever seen anybody with a second appendix?" "No, you fool!" the husband replied. "Have you ever seen anybody with a second wife?"
I went for a walk in the countryside yesterday. I looked over this fence and saw a little chicken. The chicken went "Cluck-Cluck" So I went "Cluck-Cluck" I looked again and the same chicken went "Cluck-Cluck" again. So I went "Cluck-Cluck." Then a policeman arrived and arrested us both for using fowl language.
When our lawn mower broke, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of -first, the truck, the car, playing golf 'Always something more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again as a joke I handed her a toothbrush. I said, 'When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway.' The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.
It was summer 2020, a world wide pandemic. A shipwrecked sailor had spent several years on a deserted island. Then one morning he was thrilled to see a ship offshore and a smaller vessel pulling out toward him. When the boat grounded on the beach, the officer in charge handed the marooned sailor a bundle of newspapers and told him, "The captain said to read through these and let us know if you still want to be rescued."
A fellow nurse at my hospital received a call from an anxious patient. "I'm diabetic and I'm afraid I've had too much sugar today." the caller said. "Are you light-headed?" my colleague asked. "No," the caller answered, "I'm a brunette."
To be appointed as a football league manager Wayne Rooney had to pass a test first. Examiner: "If one and one make two, and two and two makes four, how much does four and four make?" Rooney: "That isn’t fair, You answer the easy ones yourself and leave the hard ones for me to answer."
A woman sat down on a park bench, glanced around and decided to stretch out her legs on the seat and relax. After awhile a tramp came up to her and said, "Hello, Luv, how about us going for a walk together?"
"How dare you!" said the woman, "I'm not one of your cheap pickups!"
"Well, then," said the tramp, "what are you doing in my bed?"
Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez. "How was he killed?" asked one detective. "With a golf gun," the other detective replied. "A golf gun?! What is a golf gun?" "I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan."
Lucy: Hi everyone! Welcome to the shoutbox. Leave messages here for everyone to read.
Jan 30, 2013 21:44:07 GMT
Lucy: I think it's a really good idea and I hope you all do too. Please can I stress that no spoilers are to be posted here but you may say how amazing the episodes were
Jan 30, 2013 21:44:55 GMT
shangas: KUNG HEY FATT CHOY!!!! **Lights firecrackers**
Feb 9, 2013 9:30:00 GMT
shangas: What do Peking Ducks play with on Chinese New Year? FIRE-QUACKERS!!
Feb 9, 2013 9:32:39 GMT
fundraiser: Bid on a walk-on, in full costume, and make-up, as well as lunch with the cast on Murdoch Mysteries.
Mar 19, 2013 0:09:53 GMT
fundraiser: Bid on a Tea with Maureen Jennings at The King Edward Hotel. Charity auction on eBay March 21-25th details www.luxuryandvintage.com Can find details at this site for Charity auction for walk-on on Murdoch Mysteries
Mar 19, 2013 0:10:57 GMT
CosmicCavalcade: Happy Hallowe'en my fellow Murdochians!
Oct 31, 2013 14:28:58 GMT
mrsbrisby: There is another series that might be cancelled. It is called Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries and it is produced in Australia. Please go to petition.org, enter the series name in the search box and fill out the petition. It is the only chance this show has
Jan 29, 2014 12:58:09 GMT
eus: How do i get a different avatar? I notice some people have stills from the show. How do you do that?
Apr 6, 2014 16:17:18 GMT
Ｅｇｏｔｉｓｔｉｃａｌ: Wow ... this is out of date ...
Jun 21, 2014 22:45:34 GMT
Ｅｇｏｔｉｓｔｉｃａｌ: BUT OMFG THIS IS FUN LETS ABUSE THE SHOUTBOX WHOOO
Jun 21, 2014 22:45:57 GMT
rdw69: Wanted – a summary of 11-1 after 9-25 for DVD-only viewers vs a 1 year wait.
Aug 31, 2017 11:30:50 GMT
whathaveyougeorge: Does anyone know when they actually tape at the Scarborough set? I live only 5 minutes from the set but have never been around when they are actually taping on set. I have HUGE Murdoch friends who would LOVE to at least see the set in action.
Aug 16, 2021 16:50:08 GMT