Breaking points- A William/Julia FF

[akarana]

Chapter 9

What neither Julia nor William had known that Monday night was that it would be their last calm moment together for the rest of the week.

Tuesday morning William had got a case when a young woman was found murdered in her own apartment. The murderer had raped her and cut her throat. It was a crime that made William sick to his stomach, even after years at the police. What worried him even more though. was that they had no suspect yet, because the murderer had barely left any evidence, other than bodily fluids and the murder weapon, a common knife. One that could be found in every household.

Thursday another body had been found, matching the injuries of the first one, but with just as little clues to work with.

"Dr, Ogden, do you have anything for me?" William asked when he stepped into the morgue on Friday afternoon in full professional mode. Julia knew the look on his face and she had seen it all throughout the week. He was wrapped up in the case, his head nowhere near romance. On one hand she admired his work ethic and determination, on the other she missed him and wished he'd at least give her as much as a loving look when they were alone.

This had been exactly what had made her wonder about his feelings the last time; His negligence towards her and her feelings when he worked an important case. And to him all of his cases were important cases. The ring she was wearing on the necklace had sustained her during the week and had reminded her that he truly loved her. However now, after 5 days of no hugs, kisses, caresses or even a loving word, she felt her patience wearing thin.

"I found a hairline fracture at the back of her skull. She was most likely struck over the head and unconscious before she was killed and raped," she told him the news.

"Killed and raped or raped and killed?" he wanted to know.

"Judging by the lacking hemorrhagic tissue I believe she was already dead when he assaulted her," she clarified. William looked pensive and then nodded.

"Thank you doctor," he said, tipped his hat with his fingers and turned to leave.

"Detective, do you have a moment? There's something else I need to talk to you about," Julia stopped him.

"Yes, of course," he agreed although he seemed less than enthusiastic. Julia looked around and then led him to her desk so they had a little more privacy. There was no one around at the moment, but she knew how quickly that could change.

"What is it?" he asked a bit impatiently when she remained silent for a second too long and just fiddled with her fingers.

"It's just that... I haven't seen you all week, William. And I miss you," she spelled it out for him, knowing he wasn't able to pick up on any hints when he was in this state of mind.

"Oh, Julia," he sighed when he saw the stricken look on her face and realized that he had done it again. He had put work before everything else. "I am truly sorry," he apologized and took her hands in his. "It's just that this case is so..." he started but stopped when he saw her sad but understanding look. She knew all of this and it wasn't what she needed to hear. "I miss you, too," he finally said and realized just how true that was when she wrapped her arms around his middle and hugged him. How could he have gone days without this, he wondered. Had he learned nothing from the last time?

"Forgive me?" he asked and held her tight.

"Only if you agree to go on a date with me this weekend," she smiled up at him.

"I would be honored," he agreed with a relieved smile. "Tomorrow? We could go on another picnic?" he suggested. "The weather is nice enough and we enjoyed ourselves the last time."

"Will there be absinthe involved again?" Julia laughed.

"I think it is be better if there won't be," he chuckled as well and finally kissed her, after five long days. The kiss was sweet but short, because they were both too aware of where they were. The last time it had been merely uncomfortable when they had got caught, this time it could be a disaster.

~*~

"This is really delicious, William. I didn't know you knew how to cook," Julia complimented him on the small filled rolls he had brought along. He had insisted that she wouldn't bring everything and had gone to the lengths of baking something himself.

"With barely any women around we were taught how to cook and bake at school. At least if you wanted something other than porridge all day," he explained.

"I can barely heat up water for my morning tea," she grinned.

"I could teach you," he offered good-heartedly.

"I would like that every much," she agreed and lay down on her side on the plaid blanket, propping her head up on one hand.

"It could be our first project together once we're married," he smiled and lay down to mirror her position.

"When do you think will we be able to get married?" she wanted to know.

"I'm not sure. It's been a week a today that you broke your engagement with Darcy. People are still talking. And if George is any indication they also suspect that I played some part in it," he replied.

"It's just that I'm already tired of this secrecy. I don't want to hide all the time and pretend that I don't have feelings for you," she sighed and moved closer to him, playing with the buttons of his vest.

"We will find a way, Julia," he promised her, placing his hand on top of hers before she took the button off.

"I believe you," she agreed, leaning her forehead against his throat for a second, breathing him in. "We're alone, William," she pointed out when she looked up at him. "Why don't you kiss me?" she requested. He didn't reply with words, but instead just captured her lips with his. She rolled onto her back and his hand tangled in her hair while their mouths tried to make up for the last five days. Without the absinthe and the protective darkness they didn't let it get as heated as the last time. When the temptation to unbutton shirts, mess up hairdos and kiss other places than the mouth became too strong, they broke apart and laughed as they tried to calm their breathing.

"One more reason why I can't wait to marry you," William made an unusually forward statement that made Julia laugh some more. Then however she decided to use the opportunity as it presented itself to ask something she had been wondering about for a while.

"William, can I ask you something really personal?" she asked first. It gave him the option to say no and also the chance to steel himself for the bomb she would drop on him.

"We're engaged, Julia. Of course you can," he said and put on a brave face, even as it was obvious that he was already feeling uncomfortable.

"I told you about my... history, because I needed to, considering the consequences," she started and he already had an idea where this was going. "I'm just wondering if you..." she wasn't sure how to go on, "have any experience as well? Considering you're catholic and..." she trailed off.

Knowing Julia the way he did, he had already known that the question would come sooner or later.

"I do," he said and for a second she thought it would be all he would say on the subject. "I was a young man once and I didn't have as much self control back then. And then there was Liza and one evening we got carried away... We were terrified afterwards about the possibility of a pregnancy," he admitted slowly.

"She wasn't" Julia stated the obvious.

"No, she wasn't," he confirmed.

"I can't get pregnant William," she pointed out.

"What are you saying, Julia?" he asked her.

"I am simply thinking that there would be no risk of pregnancy for us if we..." she stopped and suddenly blushed bright red. She was as embarrassed as William had ever seen her. "Oh god, I sound like a brazen doxy. Please, forget what I just said," she begged and hid her face in her hands when she lay down on her back.

He looked rather helpless at first, but then the wish to ease Julia's worries was bigger than his own embarrassment. Gently he took her hands off her face and then kissed her reassuringly.

"I don't think you are a 'brazen doxy' and I understand where this is coming from, because I feel the same way. At least part of me does," he said. "The other part wants to wait so it will be special when I will make love to my wife for the first time." His words together with the honesty in his beautiful brown eyes made her forget her shame and so she smiled, truly touched by what he had said.

"Detective William Murdoch, who would have though that you are such a hopeless romantic," she teased him. He only smiled in response and kissed her again.

"Some more lemonade?" he asked her when he pulled back. "We should drink it as long as it is still cold."

"Yes please," she agreed and sat up as well and watched as William took both their glasses and refilled them. They clinked their glasses together and both took a sip, as a voice from behind interrupted them.

"Detective, Dr. Ogden there you are," George Crabtree said, panting hard, and seemed relieved that he had found them.

"What is it George?" Murdoch asked annoyed, also because he feared that Crabtree had seen more than he should have.

"There has been another murder, sir. We need you both," he informed them and smiled knowingly as they packed their things with heavy sighs, while each of them wore a sour expression.

TBC

[camilla]

Another great chapter Akarana!!thank you for post a new chapter everyday,is a pleasure read it,really a pleasure!

[camilla]

I miss my prefered fanfic!!

[akarana]

Sorry. I tried to write, but I've been lying in bed with pneumonia since Saturday. Went to doc on Monday and got steroids and antibiotics that totally knock me out. Don't think I've been awake for more than an hour at a time since then.
i already have half of the next chapter and will try to finish it as soon as possible. Hopefully tomorrow or so. Have the time to write (in theory) since I'm home sick and not allowed to work...

[camilla]

Awww i'm soo sorry Akarana!! get well soon and let us know how Are you Next days!
All my best!

[akarana]

Ok, I can't say I'm feeling well again, cause that would be a lie, but I am feeling better and more alert, which is good. Hope you're all well!

Chapter 10

When William and Julia arrived at the scene the men had already secured everything and were now collecting evidence the way he had shown them. He helped Julia out of the carriage and ignored the knowing look George was throwing him. He was still in a bad mood because of their interrupted date and hoped that Crabtree would keep his mouth shut about the situation.

"What can you tell us, George?" he asked and followed him into the small, wooden house.

"A man found her this afternoon when he wanted to deliver a telegram. The door was open and he thought he heard something so he entered," George started telling the facts. "Her name is Louise Macintyre. She is married to a John Macintyre, but we found that he is out of the country on business. The telegram that was delivered came from him," George finished.

The house they entered was small and basically in the middle of nowhere. There was a small forest nearby and corn fields all around, although the family obviously wasn't into farming. The interior was simply but clean.

"Same injuries as the other victims, as far as I can tell," Julia observed and lifted the arms of the woman who was lying on the floors, her dress pushed up over her hips, her undergarments torn, her upper body trenched in blood. Her blonde hair was red and sticking to her head from the blood, her blue eyes were ghostly staring at them in horror.

"Any witnesses?" William turned back to George.

"No, none. And there are no neighbors around," the constable shrugged. William nodded and looked around, taking in the several things that seemed to be pushed off the table and thrown around. Plates were no longer on the small table, a knife lay on the floor, a vase with flowers was toppled over and the water had dripped down, drop by drop. A chair was lying on the ground as well and the chaos in the middle of the room stood in sharp contrast to the tidiness in the rest of it. Everything looked impeccably clean. The bed was made and some wooden children's toys were neatly stored into a shelf beside it.

"She must have put up a fight," he knew and walked further towards the kitchen area of the room. A small bowl with porridge was still sitting on the counter, a fire still warming the oven. It looked like the woman would pick up where she had left off any moment now, but instead she had been killed.

And then suddenly he heard something. He couldn't place the sound, didn't know if it was a thing, an animal or human. Confused he looked around, but couldn't make out another sound because of the men who were talking to each other while they processed the crime scene.

"Men, could you be quiet for a second?" he asked loudly and listened again. He heard another sound and found that it came from the basket that stood by his feet. Slowly he lifted the lid off and was surprised when he saw a little girl sitting in the basket. She looked at him with wide eyes, whimpered quietly, but seemed otherwise unharmed.

"Come here, you're save now," he told the small girl, who looked like she wasn't older than two years. She didn't react when he pulled her out and he turned around so she wouldn't see her dead mother.

"Doctor, could you take a look at her. I think something is not right," he requested concerned when she kept whimpering with that apathetic look on her face. Julia came over and tried to get the attention of the girl by waving fingers in front of her face and snapping her fingers, but the girl didn't react.

"I think she's in shock," Julia said after testing some more reflexes.

"You think she saw something?" William wondered.

"She was hidden in the basket so I doubt it, but she heard something. Considering the way her mother was slaughtered I think that might be enough to traumatize a child." Julia stroked over the blonde curls of the girl and that seemed to get the attention of the girl. She seemed to realize for the first time that she was no longer inside the basket. She looked at William and then at Julia and seemed to ponder if she could trust them or not.

"Can you check on her so we know she's alright?" William asked Julia and adjusted the blue dress of the girl slightly.

"Of course," she agreed. "Come here, girly," she cooed at the child and held out her arms. Without protest the child went to her and even rested her head on her shoulder, seemingly exhausted. "I will take her outside, William. The men can transport the body to the morgue. I will do the autopsy as soon as possible," Julia instructed.

"Alright, I'll meet you outside once we are done," he agreed and was somewhat glad when the child wasn't in one room with her murdered mother anymore.

~*~

"And? Is she alright?" William asked half an hour later when he joined Julia outside. There were only three men left with them, one of them being the driver of the police carriage they had arrived in.

"Yes. She was in desperate need of a change, but otherwise she's perfectly fine. Aren't you, little one?" she asked the child and tickled her belly what made her laugh. "What's going to happen to her?" Julia then asked. Beside the gruesome circumstances it was a nice sight, seeing Julia so comfortable with a child that could very much be her own and William found himself wishing for a second that she was. With her blonde hair, her fair skin and the bright eyes she looked a bit like what he could imagine a daughter of Julia could look like. If she were still able to have children. Which she wasn't…

"I instructed George to send a telegram to the husband in Europe. Once he will get back he will care for the child. Until then we will need to find someone to take her," William said helplessly and snapped out of his thoughts, reminding himself that it wouldn't happen. They wouldn't have children of their own.

"Oh William, we can't just give her to the orphanage. First the shock of hearing her mother being murdered, then the orphanage… I fear she might not recover from it," Julia protested vehemently.

"Do you have a better idea?" he wanted to know and had the feeling that Julia already knew what should happen with the child. He stepped a bit closer without realizing it and pulled a sock of the girl up which had slid down her leg.

"Well, yes, I do," she nodded convinced. "I will let her stay at my house until her father gets back or we find other relatives."

"Julia, you're working all day and you can hardly take her to the morgue with you," he disagreed, although he was touched by the idea of Julia looking after the child.

"Of course not," she shook her head. "But I think Dawson will be delighted to have someone to look after," she knew. "And I would find it very refreshing not be alone every night," she went on much quieter.

"Alright then. We will give you a ride back home so you can hand her over to Dawson." Murdoch finally agreed and decided that he would stop by from time to time to see how they were doing. And of course to spend time with Julia when no one could gossip about it.

"Very well, detective. Your men found some spare clothes for the child?" she asked with a small smile.

"Yes, I will get her bag," he nodded and went back into the house.

~*~

"She's such a beautiful child," Dawson gushed over the temporary new addition to the household a while later when they had arrived at Julia's place after he had packed all the things of the child that he could find.

"Yes, she really is," Julia agreed. "Could you make her something to eat? I will stay until I see that she's alright." Ms. Dawson just nodded and then left the room so William, Julia and the toddler were alone for the first time.

"I hope you will like it here," Julia said to the girl and sat down.

"Of that I am sure," William reassured her and sat down next to her. The girl looked curiously at him as he spoke and then leaned over in his direction and held her arms out to him. "Oh, you want to come to me?" he asked her and smiled. "Alright then," he went on and took her from Julia. He sat her on his knees so she was facing him.

"If only we knew her name," Julia sighed.

"Name," the girl repeated and grinned happily.

"Can you tell us your name?" Julia laughed with her. "I'm Julia," she said and pointed to herself.

"Lia…" the girl repeated.

"And this is William," the doctor went on.

"Will," the toddler giggled again.

"Julia and William and?" Julia said and pointed to the girl, hoping she would understand what she was getting at.

"Eva," the girl told them and they exchanged a relieved look.

"You're Eva. That's a pretty name," Julia complimented her.

"Will, daddy ridin'," she babbled and started bopping up and down on his knees.

"Your daddy lets you ride on his knees. Then let's see if I can do that, too," he laughed and moved his knees. The girl started laughing and squealing with joy.

"Oh, she's adorable," Julia gushed and hugged Williams arm and rested her head on his shoulder after she had taken off the hat he still wore.

"The porridge, mam," Dawson came in a moment later and handed a bowl to Julia, which meant she had to sit upright again.

"You're hungry Eva?" Julia asked the still laughing toddler.

"Yes," the girl decided after a moment of thinking about it. Julia fed her the first spoon and she took it without protest.

"Then you stay with Dawson here and William and I go back to work, alright?" Julia explained to her and William wanted to hand her over to the housekeeper. But as soon as the words were out the girl clung to William and refused to let go.

"Come on, darling, I don't bite," Dawson took the situation with humor as she and Julia pried the fingers of the little girl off William's jacket. Under the heartbreaking cries of the little girl they left the house and their temporary good mood was gone once more on this day.

TBC

[camilla]

Thank you for this new chapter,a very sweet one!hope you Are better!!take care of yourself!

[akarana]

Thank you Camilla for still reading and commenting!

Chapter 11

„Good evening, doctor," William greeted Julia later that Saturday evening when he walked into the morgue.

"Oh William," she smiled when she heard him and turned her head so she could see him as well. She was mid-autopsy and just weighing the organs.

"Are you alone?" he asked warily and looked around, but couldn't see anyone else.

"Yes, it is Saturday evening after all," she nodded and smiled when he used the opportunity to peck her lips.

"What have you found so far?" he asked and turned serious.

"I feel like I am repeating myself over and over these days, but it is always the same. She was murdered, then raped. The only thing that is different is that she put up a fight. There's tissue underneath her fingernails and bruises on her forearms. He grabbed her arms so hard that he even deformed the bracelet she wore," she reported. "I think you might be lucky and find finger-marks on it," she added.

"I hope we will be able to find some and then find our killer before another child loses her mother," he sighed.

"Speaking of which. Take a look around the corner where my desk is," Julia said and wiped her hands on a rag so she could go with him. When William reached the desk he was surprised to find a white play pen set up beside it and Eva was sleeping in it, covered with a blanket.

"What is she doing here?" he asked surprised.

"Dawson brought her by because she just wouldn't stop crying and got into such hysterics that she got a nosebleed," Julia replied quietly.

"I'm very glad that you could calm her down, but the morgue isn't a place for a child," he pointed out. Julia's face showed hurt and he hadn't wanted that. Still, he felt he was right. "Julia, that is her mother there on your table," he said more gently and stepped closer to her so he was invading her personal space.

"I know, William, but what choice did I have?" she asked him and looked at him somewhat desperate.

"You could have called me," he shrugged like it was the most obvious thing.

"You are chasing a murderer William and could be called away any time. You don't have the time to look after her," she insisted.

"Maybe I don't, but there are enough men at the station to help us out. They could bring her to me or you whenever she doesn't calm down," he suggested.

"I don't know," she remained reluctant.

"You don't trust me?" he asked, already knowing that it wasn't true.

"Of course I trust you. I'm just not sure it will work. Dawson knows how to handle children and she couldn't calm her. So I have doubts that a constabulary full of inexperienced men will manage to do that," she pointed out.

"Brackenreid has children of his own. And you could always stop by and visit," he smiled at her and knew he had won.

"Once more your logic infuriates me," she admitted and tried to hide her smile.

"I think we established a while ago already that you find it winsome," he reminded her with a chuckle.

"Don't you ever forget anything?" she laughed and placed her hands on his shoulders.

"Sometimes it might seem like I do, but I can assure you that I don't. At least not important… things," he winked at her.

"Please tell me you are not implying that I am a 'thing'," she laughed and playfully pulled his ear.

"If I remember correctly it was 'cheeky thing'," he proved his remarkable memory again.

"Incorrigible," she shook her head, still chuckling and kissed him.

"You want me to take her with me?" William asked and stroked a lock behind her ear.

"No, I shouldn't be much longer. I will stop by on my way home and give you the full report. You can take her tomorrow or on Monday, depending on if I have the day off tomorrow or not," she declined.

"Alright, then I'll see you later," he agreed and placed a lingering kiss on her cheek before he was off with the bracelet to check for fingerprints.

He had been interrogating a man when Julia had stopped by and so he hadn't seen her again that night. She had left a note for him with the autopsy report, telling him that he could stop by if he wanted, but that she would be happy to have him over for breakfast the next day.

On Sunday morning he first went to mass and it was already 9.30 when he arrived at her place. He knew that Julia liked to sleep in on her days off, but he wasn't so sure if that was possible with a little child in the house.

"Good morning Miss Dawson," he greeted the housekeeper. "Are doctor Ogden and the child already up?" he asked.

"Yes, Julia is just getting ready. The child is in the living room, as you can hear," she commented and when William stepped inside he could hear the sobs coming from the living room.

"Can you announce that I have arrived? I will see what Eva wants," he decided.

"She wants her mother. She has been asking for her all night," the housekeeper replied and then went to tell Julia that he was there. His heart ached for the poor girl and her sobs were heart breaking.

He opened the door to the living room and found her standing in her playpen. Thick tears were streaming down over her cheeks and her nose was running.

"Hello Eva. Dear, tell me what is wrong?" he cooed at her and lifted her up in his arms. "You remember who I am?" he asked her and realized that she needed to be changed as well when he held her. "Let's get you cleaned up for breakfast, huh," he went on and took his handkerchief out. She really calmed down and let him dry her tears and help her blow her nose. "Better?"

"Yes," the girl nodded.

"Do you know where they put your cloth diapers?" he asked her then.

"Dippy?" she asked back and cocked her head to the side.

"It might be what I'm talking about, but I am not too sure," he shrugged, not sure if the child had understood him or if she was talking about something else completely. "Now over here we have your toys, maybe we're lucky," he thought out loud and led Eva by her hand to the many things at the other end of the room, which all belonged to the child. "Ah, see. That's a diaper," he told her triumphantly when he found what he had been looked for underneath a stack of folded clothes. "Now here we have a washcloth and I think we should be good," he proclaimed with me confidence than he felt. After all he had never changed a diaper before, but it couldn't be that complicated, couldn't it?

Eva was cooperative at least and lay down on the towel he spread out on the floor. Dawson or Julia must have changed her before in the living room since all the necessary items were present and so he went to work. He succeeded taking the old diaper off and placed the safety pins on the small table beside him. He cleaned the girl up, hoped he used the ointment and the powder right and found out that Eva erupted in the most adorable giggles when one tickled her stomach. However putting the new cloth diaper on was another thing. He folded it, wrapped it around her and even tried tying a knot… it didn't work.

"Oh William, what are you doing?" Julia laughed when she saw his last attempt. She kneeled beside him and took over, showing him the process while she did it. "See, that's how it's done. Right, Eva?" she asked the girl.

"Right," the girl nodded and laughed without understanding what Julia was talking about.

"I thought it would be easier," William admitted embarrassed.

"It will be next time. Thank you for calming her down," Julia still grinned.

"Yeah…well…" he shrugged. "Good morning," he finally just said and placed a kiss on her cheek.

"Good morning," Julia replied and yawned a second later.

"Didn't you sleep well?" he asked and then helped her up.

"I barely slept at all. Eva had terrible night-terrors all night and kept waking up at least once every hour. I managed to calm her, but never for long. First she cried for her mother, then for her father," Julia reported and the fatigue swung in her voice.

"I received a telegraph message this morning from her father. He bought a ticket on a ship back to Canada. The ship will leave today." William remembered.

"So he will arrive in about three or four weeks?" Julia knew and watched as Eva took her doll and then came back to them.

"Yes, I think so, too," William agreed and picked up Eva when she held out her arms to him and demanded to be picked up.

"Breakfast is ready," Dawson then announced.

"You're hungry, Eva?" Julia asked her and came closer when there was no reply. Eva had lay her head on William's shoulder, her doll still tightly in her hand and had fallen asleep in seconds. "Now isn't that the most adorable thing?" Julia smiled when she saw it.

"Next time she won't sleep you should call me," William smiled back at her.

"I would have to send Dawson to your place," Julia disagreed. "However you could simply stay over tonight… just in case," she added then.

"Scandalous," William joked with a wink and then lay Eva down in her playpen. When his arms were free, he pulled Julia towards him and tasted her lips for the first time that morning.

"Breakfast as long as she sleeps, detective. Then we can continue with our scandalous behavior," Julia laughed once they broke the kiss and led him into the dining room.

TBC

[camilla]

Thank you for continue the story Akarana,I love it and in all chapters there's something interesting,i can imagine the scenes in my mind!
hope you Are better!

[akarana]

Thank you Camilla.
I'm really feeling better although I'm still not healthy.
They put me on antibiotics and steroids and it seems that both is a bit too much, because I got several side effects of the meds, starting with a rash and ending with fever. I will go to a salt grotto today and then at least 2 times a week for the next month so my bronchia will get better.
I decided that no matter what I will go to work again on monday, because I am going crazy at home. I love my job and I need to get out of here. This is the first time ever that I missed work. My boss was kind of shocked

[akarana]

Chapter 12

Murdoch had to leave after breakfast to go back to work. As much as he would have liked to spend his day with Julia and the child, it simply wasn't possible. Eva had woken up halfway during their breakfast and it had taken them a while to calm her down enough so she had eaten something as well. It also meant that they didn't have any more time for each other and he found that he missed their stolen moments somewhat.

It turned out that fingerprints could be lifted from the bracelet, but that they couldn't be matched with those in the system. He spent the rest of the day talking to potential witnesses and one turned out to be really interesting. A young woman had been assaulted in front of her own house earlier that week. The man had tried to cut her throat with a knife, but because her father had come back earlier from his office and had heard the commotion in front of the door, he had come outside and the man had run away. They had been able to describe the attacker and William was convinced that it was the man they were looking for.

Later that day he went through his desk looking for a report that he just couldn't find anymore. It was the transcript of an interview he had done earlier that week and he wanted to check on something. However the report wasn't in his drawer. Instead he found an old telegram, one he had forgotten he still had.

It was the first note Julia had sent him after he had contacted her about a case. It had been the first time he had heard from her in months and he remembered how much it had hurt to receive it. She had been so nice and helpful and he had heard her voice in his head when he had read it, but she still had been miles away and he had been sure he would never see her again. Staring off into space he remembered those months without her and then those when she had been back, but had been engaged to Dr. Garland.

It had been torture, plain and simple. He had wanted her back with him and it just hadn't been possible. He had been sick with sadness and remorse. He remembered the dreams, sometimes quite intimate dreams, about her. They had made him miss her even more and he had craved her presence so badly at times that it had brought tears to his eyes.

And now he had her back and still he held her at arm's length because of society and morals. He was sure that had she been close to him when he missed her so badly, he had ravished her right on the spot and he wouldn't have minded what people thought about them, not even his priest. Just remembering it made the pain come back.

"Murdoch, I haven't seen that look upon your face in a while… not since Dr. Ogden broke her engagement," Brackenreid interrupted his gloomy thoughts in his blunt manner.

"Inspector?" he only replied, not sure what to say to that. It seemed like he hadn't given Brackenreid enough credit for his observational skills.

"It is already nine at night. Why don't you go home Murdoch? You might want to check on how the doctor is doing with the child. She might need some help," his boss spelled it out for him, tipped his fingers to his hat and then left. He really was indiscreet at times, that inspector. And he was right. What was he still doing there, sitting in his office missing Julia, when he could very easily just be with her?

He quickly gathered his things and left the precinct. He went to Julia's place without going home in between. He was a man on a mission now. He rang the doorbell and ignored Dawson's disapproving look when he entered.

"Dr. Ogden is in the living room with the child," she told him and raised both eyebrows when he firmly closed the door behind him once he had entered the room. Eva was playing with a doll on the floor while Julia stood by the shelf and seemed to try and decide what book to read.

"Oh William, I didn't think you would…" she didn't get much farther because he had walked up to her, had taken her in his arms and kissed her soundly. She seemed surprised at first and laughed softly, but kissed him back.

"Good evening detective," she whispered when she pulled back and leaned back even further when he tried to kiss her again. "We are not alone, love," she pointed out. He nodded and pulled her in a tight hug.

"I missed you," he offered as explanation for his behavior. He felt Julia smile and could still see it in her eyes when they broke their embraced when Eva tugged on his trousers.

"Will!" she called and requested his attention.

"Good evening Miss Eva," he laughed along with Julia, but didn't let go of her.

"Doll," the toddler said and held up her doll to him.

"You want me to hold your doll for you?" he asked clueless-ly.

"I believe she wants you to play with her," Julia corrected him and pulled him down onto the floor with her.

They played with Eva until the child was so tired she could barely hold her eyes open. Still she refused to go to bed or even lie down.

"I will get her some hot milk," Julia decided and yawned. It was already past midnight and she had barely slept the night before."You want some tea or anything else?" she asked William.

"No, thank you Julia," he shook his head and sat down on the sofa. He was exhausted as well, but he didn't want to leave Julia alone with the child. Once Julia had left the room Eva climbed into his lap and snuggled into him. She put her thumb in her mouth and sucked as he held her gently and leaned further into the sofa.

When Julia came back with the hot milk a few minutes later she found them both asleep on the sofa. She smiled when she saw them and wished there was a way to make a memory of that moment. Then she grabbed a blanket and covered them, kissed them both on the forehead and took the hot milk with her to her bedroom. Maybe she would get some sleep that night.

TBC

[lilmon]

Oh, three new chapters to read since my last visit, thank you! You write very nicely! Take care of yourself, though, a pneumonia or what is not a child-game!

lilmon

[camilla]

Happy to' know you Are better Akarana,i hope you can stay very well soon.take care of yourself because is not easy have these kind of problems,i have had it some years ago..
About the chapter,nice and cute but i like much more the chapters with W and J alone with their problems,maybe for children is too soon..

[akarana]

! I already mentioned in the first chapter that the story rating would most likely change. Please note that this chapter is M-rated, meaning for [glow=red,2,300]MATURE AUDIENCE ONLY[/glow] !

Honestly, I would like to use a spoiler cut or something so one could hide the M-rated parts underneath, but I haven't see it here yet. If the tag exists, please tell me, so I can add the cut to my post!

Chapter 13

The picture of Eva falling asleep on William's chest became a common one over the next two weeks. It seemed the only thing that really helped against her nightmares and more than once William fell asleep on Julia's sofa in the living room. Working the long hours he did and then looking after the child in the evenings was exhausting and he had a new respect for the parents he knew.

Eva was especially demanding and he knew that, but still there were times when he wondered how people were parents.

Also his frustration on a personal level grew. Ever since the day he had found the old telegram in his office, the need he felt hadn't diminished. He missed Julia even when she was right next to him. Because of the clingy child they barely had any time to themselves and it was hard to talk about private matters with a two year old around who kept interrupting because she wanted to be entertained.

When Julia decided that Eva would sleep in her own bed for the rest of the time now he wondered if Julia was just tired, frustrated or felt as desperate to get a moment with him as he did. It was a struggle to have Eva sleeping in her own bed. At first she refused to lie down in it altogether and cried for William to pick her up and hold her. They decided that he should rock her to sleep and then lie her down, but it wasn't that easy. Each time he tried to lay her down she opened her eyes and started crying. It took them five days until they were successful. At eight o'clock that Saturday night Eva slept in her own bed and William couldn't believe that he would have the woman he loved to himself again.

They went to the patio and sat down after instructing Dawson to keep an eye on the child. Three weeks with just a few stolen kisses had been torture and William pulled her in his arms when he sat down and held her as close as he could.

"The last few weeks turned out to be quite the challenge, didn't they?" Julia asked and seemed to know what he was thinking.

"As much as I like Eva… I wish she were a little less demanding," he admitted and started pulling the pins out of her hair.

"Something else seems to be bothering you William. At first I thought it was the case, but you found the murderer and still you do not seem like yourself. Is everything alright?" Julia managed again to put her finger on the wound.

"I found an old telegram you sent me from Buffalo," he started and combed with his fingers through her hair to untangle it.

"Oh," was all Julia said to that part.

"The letter reminded me of the time without you and all of my regrets," he admitted with a heavy sigh.

"William, that is all in the past. We both made mistakes and hopefully we learned from them," she tried to calm him when she heard how upset he sounded just talking about it.

"Thinking about that time did something to me that I cannot explain," William told her and laced his fingers through hers when she took his hands. "It makes me miss you even when you're right here in my arms. No contact is enough and I feel needy and frustrated constantly," the words flowed out of his mouth before he could stop them. Julia turned around so she could see his face. Then she smiled at him before she brought her lips to his in a soft kiss.

"Better?" she asked him with a mischievous glint in her eyes.

"I'm not sure," he replied and cupped her cheek, leading her face to his. They kissed again and William knew Julia was teasing him with her kiss. She kept it light and playful and smiled brightly at him when she pulled back far too soon.

"And now?" she cheekily asked. William didn't reply this time. Instead his eyes darkened as he reached for her once more. He put one arm around her waist, bringing it down from her hair and with his other hand, caressed her cheek. He leaned in to her and kissed her, gently urging her with the tip of his tongue to part her lips. He tasted her, caressing her tongue with his and leaned back against the back of the bench they were sitting on so he had her half lying on top of him. Of course, Julia didn't stop him and instead let her hands feel his back, the skin of his neck and his hair. She felt him breathe her in and did the same, loving the smell of his skin that she hadn't smelled or tasted enough since they had got back together. The kiss deepened as he nibbled on her lips and tongue. She moaned softly when his hand closed on her breast and squeezed it over her dress. With his thumb he brushed over her nipple, back and forth until he could feel the tautness of it through the blouse. William felt his own body respond to her the feel and the sounds of her body. It was what he had been craving these last weeks. She put her arms around him and pushed her body against his, feeling her own demand and the evidence of his against her thigh.

"We should go inside," she told him in a husky whisper and got up, making him miss her body against his the second her weight wasn't on him anymore. William stood up quickly, smoothing his hair back and took her hand when she held it out in his direction.

William had stayed at her house every night since she had taken Eva in, but the times they had shared her bed could be counted on one hand. And even then the child had been sleeping between them. Most of the times however he has slept on the sofa or in the guestroom, so he was closer when Eva would have one of her nightmares and needed him to rock her back to sleep. Mrs. Kitchen had accepted his story and even Dawson had warmed to the idea of him staying over once she found him caring for the child and not seducing her doctor. She had stopped watching their every move and as they climbed the stairs together this evening she was nowhere to be seen and wouldn't think any of it, knowing they had most likely behaved the last weeks.

"Shall we check on Eva once more?" Julia asked when they reached the door of the guest room.

"Yes, that might be wise," he nodded and hoped that they could prevent unwanted interruptions that way. Quietly they opened the door and stepped inside. They were happy to see that Eva was sleeping peacefully in her bed with no nightmares in sight. They watched her for a while, happy and relieved that she was really sleeping alone now. The tension between the two adults grew in the semi dark room and for the first time it was William who took the initiative when he wrapped his arms around Julia's waist from behind and softly kissed her neck. She pulled him closer by placing a hand on his hair and tilted her head to the side to give him better access.

His hands didn't stay still for long and started unbuttoning her blouse. She didn't stop him, but turned around instead, undid the buttons on his shirt and kissed him heatedly.

"Love, not here," Julia whispered between the kisses and he got the message. He stopped the kiss and led her out the door into the hallway. He quietly closed it and held Julia close as they walked across the hallway to her bedroom. A second after they had shut the door, they were kissing again and his shirt and her blouse fell to the floor as they were not needed anymore.

-------- ADULT CUT STARTS HERE----------

His undershirt followed next, however he did not notice because he was too focused on undoing the laces on the corset Julia still wore. When he finally had them loosened he couldn't get it off fast enough.

"You shouldn't tie it so tightly," he commented when he saw the small traces the garment had left on Julia's skin. "Or just don't wear it at all," he muttered and ran his fingers over the indentations, pushing her chemise up over her navel. Julia felt a shiver of heat start between her legs and move up her body when he touched her, filling her breasts, her heart, then radiating outward into her lips and hands.

"How scandalous, detective," Julia only laughed as she enjoyed the feeling and explored his chest and his back with her hands, hoping to make him feel just as good. "You really are a handsome man," she complimented, feeling his muscled contracting under her hands as his breathing grew ragged at her touch. She wasn't satisfied yet with her explorations and his hands on her waist were so distracting that she knew she needed to explore now or she wouldn't get to it. There was no use fighting the heat that pulsed in her at William's touch. She wanted to experience making love with him, no matter who objected. So she pulled her lips from his once more, giggled when he followed with his head so he could linger a moment longer. Then she brought her lips to the hollow of his neck and placed a soft kiss there. She needed to taste more of him so she let her lips wander over his broad chest and made sure to tease his nipples. Her smile widened when she heard his sharp intake of breath. It delighted her that he turned out to be ticklish and that she found it out while her lips kissed over his stomach.

"Oh Julia," William couldn't help but moan when she dipped her tongue into his belly button. One of his hands tangled in her hair again, but when he felt that she undid the button on his dress pants he stopped her by placing a hand on top of hers. She looked up at him with a questioning look in her eyes, seemingly suspecting that he would stop their pleasurable explorations once more. He just smiled and pulled her up by her hand and into his arms. William leaned in to her and captured her mouth in a deep, hungry kiss, his tongue demanding hers. He released her lips only to devour the curve of her neck with his kisses and then slowly lay her down on the bed.

He stepped out of his shoes and took hers off before he joined her on the bed. With a kiss that reassured her that he wouldn't stop this time, he undid her belt and opened the buttons on her skirt. She laughingly helped him to get it off and her petticoat came next. Now only in her bloomers and chemise and with her hair down, she looked more tempting than he could remember. He was painfully aroused and his tight trousers were torture. He was glad when she used the moment as he looked at her to undo his pants and pull them off, so he was equally only in his undergarments and nothing else. The discomfort gone there was only arousal and pleasure left, clouding his mind. For once he did not care though.

"You are so beautiful," he told her as he still looked at her.

"Oh William," she sighed and rolled onto her side so she was in his arms again. He took her chemise off and rolled her on her back so she was partially lying underneath him. With wide, expectant eyes she looked up at him and waited for his next move. It was then that he knew he needed to clarify something; otherwise she would be disappointed or even hurt later.

"I still want to wait for you to be my wife until I truly make love to you for the first time," he said quietly and then he felt her hand gliding down his belly and closer to his crotch while she looked him deep into the eyes.

"There are other ways to get us both some much needed… relief," Julia replied knowingly.

"Yes," he nodded, happy that they were on the same page and she was accepting what he was willing to offer. He brought his mouth to her breast just as her hand slid in his drawers. It was pure bliss to be together like this and they couldn't kiss or touch or taste enough. He stuck out his tongue, stretched it until it reached the tip of her nipple. Then he closed his eyes and reached forward and lightly kissed it. Julia gasped lightly and wrapped her hand around him. His eyes hot open at the contact, afraid he would embarrass himself any second. She smiled softly at him and kept her hand still. When he had himself under control again, he closed his eyes once more and kissed the nipple again. And then again, much harder, and began sucking it. Julia pulled William's mouth tight against her chest with one hand while the other started massaging him slowly in his drawers. After a few minutes, as Julia moaned louder and louder, he switched to her other breast. And after a few minutes back again, and again, couldn't get enough, as if neither ever wanted the magic to end.

When the movements of her hand got faster he stopped for a moment and rested his forehead against her chest as arousal spread through him so hot that it hurt. He didn't want it to be over yet and so he stilled her hand by placing a hand on her arm. She understood and pulled him to her for another kiss. He accepted her kisses, dancing his tongue around hers, tasting her teeth and lips, while her hands roamed over his strong back and downward to his buttocks. William moaned when she squeezed them and lifted his face from hers to stare down at her. She smiled innocently back at him, teasing him by pretending she didn't know what she was doing. He shook his head lightly and chuckled. It was odd for him that they laughed during such a passionate moment as he had never had that before, but it didn't squelch the arousal he felt. If anything the laughter heightened it.

He then started to kiss and lick the smooth skin of her chest and her stomach, making her moan once more. Julia closed her eyes, lost in the arousal that pulsed between her legs.

"Please, William," she whispered. "Please." She grabbed his hand, bringing it to where she needed to feel it the most. The bloomers at the time were crotch- less for practical reasons, but at the moment she was thankful for the fact for more than practicality. Spreading her legs apart she finally felt him touching her and snuck her hand back into the drawers he still wore, even though they didn't hide anything anymore. She panted, desperate to feel his hand on her. She moaned as William stroked her silken inner thighs, moving slowly over the mound of dark golden curls to her desire. His fingers seared the tender folds as hers established a rhythm as she stroked him, one that corresponded with the way she arched her back and he plunged his tongue deeper into her mouth as he explored her.

Her breasts heaved with her heated breathing while William rubbed and teased her sweet spot. Her breathy moans spurred him on and he tried to concentrate on her pleasure while he was going crazy himself. She knew exactly what to do with her hands and when she teased the tip of his erection with her thumb he knew he wouldn't last much longer. He concentrated on the spot that brought her the most pleasure and felt the wetness between her legs increase.

"William… oh god," she panted against his mouth as she became rigid for a moment before her body shook with the force of her climax. She felt languid and limp for a few delicious moments, but William was not yet relieved and kissed her hungrily, his rock hard erection still in her hand. Julia felt her desire start again. She rubbed her hand over him, teasing him with her fingertips.

"Let me satisfy you," she whispered. William moaned at her touch and lay back on the bed and closed his eyes. She gently stroked his shaft, from the tip to the base and let his moans and groans guide her. Her head rested on his shoulder, her breasts pressed sideways against his naked chest, one of her legs was thrown over his thigh and she nibbled on his ear as she pleasured him. The smooth skin of his shaft felt so incredible in her hand. Before long, William let out a soft cry as he climaxed and his warm seed spilled out onto his lower stomach and onto Julia's hand.

William kissed her deeply as the last shivers of climax passed through him and she stilled the movements of her hand. When they broke the kiss they smiled at each other, speechless but not embarrassed, simply happy about the experience they had shared. The aching in his chest that he had felt for so long seemed gone for the moment. He couldn't remember ever having felt so close to someone or so connected and in sync. Julia pecked his lips again before she got out of bed and walked into the bathroom connected to her bedroom. He heard the water running and a moment later she came back with a wet wash cloth and a towel.

William's cheeks flushed as she wiped the evidence of his release off his stomach and private parts, before she pulled up his drawers and covered him. It was such an intimate gesture and he had never even considered that a potential future wife would do it for him. Julia didn't seem to mind though and just lay back down beside him and snuggled into him.

--------- ADULT CUT ENDS HERE--------

"I hope you're not regretting this," she said quietly and enjoyed the feel of his hand gliding up and down her naked back.

"No. I could never regret this," he shook his head and kissed her forehead.

" I should get dressed just in case Eva needs us tonight," she changed the topic but didn't make an attempt to move.

"Just a few more minutes," he replied and it sounded suspiciously like whining. The skin to skin contact was just feeling too good to end it already.

"Mmh," came Julia's sleepy reply and in a matter of minutes they were both asleep.

TBC

[camilla]

I think we never seen it in the tv show but it's what happen between people that love each other,so very well written Akarana and i hope to' see however some romance between W and J in the future episodes because people in love can't continue act like W and J,not in real life..thank you for this chapter and send it to' the Murdoch's writers! Lol )