Breaking points- A William/Julia FF

[camilla]

I miss my prefered fanfic (

[lilmon]

Me too...Where are you, akarana?
lilmon

[akarana]

I had to put down my favorite pet last Monday after 5, 1/2 years of caring for him. As you can imagine I didn't feel like writing romantic fluff afterwards. Also I had to search for another companion for the pet he left behind, so she wouldn't be all alone. Found "Henry" yesterday and I'm feeling better. I wrote half the chapter today, but it might still take a few days for me to publish, because I'll be giving a workshop these next few days, which is a lot of work and then also the chapter will be hard to write... hard stuff coming up

[camilla]

Soo sorry for your pet,i can understand you very well unfortunately..now you have big fans,often we forget you have a life beside write!

[lilmon]

I'm sorry for your pet, akarana, take care!
lilmon

[akarana]

This chapter was written with guineapig Saman on my mind, who always lay beside me when I wrote. This was the first I had to write without him. R.I.P.

Chapter 19

It was the first time since she had ended her engagement to Darcy that she set a foot into the stationhouse. She had been working on a body earlier and knew that William had been out at a crime scene, because Crabtree had stopped by to pick up some samples of the dirt she had found underneath the victim's fingernails.

"Detective, do you have a moment?" she asked him and knocked lightly on his open office door.

"Of course," he nodded and turned around in front of his blackboard to look at her. "I'm surprised to see you here," he added with a smile.

"I came to bring you the autopsy report of the man found in the pond. He drowned," she told him and handed him the report. They smiled when their fingers touched and discreetly William stroked over the tips of her fingers with the tips of his.

"I planned on coming over later," he said quietly, still looking in her eyes.

"That's the problem. I will go home right after ," she replied and stepped back from him so their fingers lost contact and he had to hold onto the report all alone.

"Are you unwell?" he worried immediately.

"No, not at all. I just spoke to my father earlier and he insisted that I come over to his place for dinner so we can talk about everything," she admitted and ended her statement with a little sigh.

"Is Ruby still in town?" he wanted to know and thought maybe her sister could support her during the dinner. It seemed like she had a better relationship with their father.

"No, she left for New York earlier this week. She's shadowing another author," Julia replied .

"Maybe you could join me for dinner tomorrow night," he tried to lighten up her mood.

"Sure," she nodded but didn't really look happy about it.

"What is it, Julia?" he called her on it, knowing otherwise all the unspoken things would pile up between them once again.

"I just hate this secrecy and the sneaking around. I just want to be with you, why does it have to be so hard?" she asked frustrated.

"Mrs. Kitchen is still gone…" he left the rest of the sentence open, knowing she would understand what he wanted to say. Since his injury they had not spend a single night apart and were becoming more and more used to it, although Julia had her monthly courses and there had barely been any more intimacy than heated kisses. Waking up in each other's arms was still worth the trouble though and even Dawson knew by now that William's injury wasn't severe enough so he'd need a doctor watching over him for six days.

They knew however that they cozy arrangement would come to an end as soon as Mrs. Kitchen would be back.

Julia sighed deeply, knowing what he was telling her, but also aware that it was unlikely that she could take him up on it that night. "I just wanted to tell you that I most likely won't be able to come over tonight," she went on in a hushed voice so they wouldn't be overheard

"I will miss you then," he admitted just as quietly. They shared another moment of quiet eye contact and when they broke it, Julia looked flushed.

"What are you working on?" she asked him, obviously as distraction from whatever was going on in her head.

"I'm trying to find out if there's a way how the murderer could have gone from Queensstreet to Charlestown alley in under fifteen minutes," he replied and showed her the two spots on the map he had drawn on the blackboard.

"You tried all the ways by carriage, I suppose?" she asked him and was hyper aware of his presence beside her. Ever since their last passionate night together she couldn't get the picture out of her head how he had looked at her when he had been lying between her legs, making her shudder with pleasure while his eyes had shown nothing but love and passion.

"Carriages, bikes…nothing works," he shrugged frustratedly. Julia cocked her head to the side and concentrated on the map and seemed to look for ways he hadn't thought of.

"William, what about the sewage system?" she asked him suddenly and he was tempted to slap his own forehead because he hadn't thought of it.

"Of course," he nodded and then got excited about the idea. "I have to get the maps of the sewage system and check them for entry points and ways. But I think that's it. Julia, you're a genius," he laughed and wrapped one arm around her shoulders to hug her to him. When she stiffened he remembered where they were and let his hand glide down her back and gave her hand another squeeze, before he removed his hand from her.

"I have to go," Julia said then, knowing if she wouldn't leave soon she would be late at her father's place and that wouldn't help her cause.

"See you tomorrow," he agreed sadly. He knew he wouldn't sleep well that night without her in his bed. Julia looked around his office and towards the open door. Then she walked over to the right side of the blackboard and waved him over.

"Detective, can you come over here and take a look at this?" she asked him and with a surprised wrinkle of his brows he did as she asked him, wondering what she could have found at the other end of the room. When he reached her she surprised him by wrapping her arms around him and pulling him into a kiss. The way they were standing she had calculated that they could only be spotted if someone entered the office. "I will miss you, too," she grinned when she pulled back after a moment.

"Be save," he smiled and pecked her lips once more before he let her go. She only nodded and then left the office with a small wave goodbye. She was barely out the door when Crabtree stuck his head in.

"Did Dr. Ogden have anything new?" he wanted to know.

"She stopped by with the autopsy report and to tell us that she won't be at the morgue any longer tonight. So if there's an emergency we will have to call on another coroner."

"Oh really? What is she up to?" George wondered curiously.

"Private matters, George," William scolded him and pointed out with just these few words that it wasn't any of his business what she was doing or why she was taking half a day off of work. "And can you bring me the sewage plans of the city. I need to check something," he added before the younger man could leave again.

"Sure, Sir," George nodded obediently and left. William was once again alone in his office.

~*~
Ever since her mother had died her father's house always felt cold to her. He hadn't changed anything since then and still the atmosphere was another. The cozy feeling her childhood home had always given her was gone since her mother's death. She was not afraid of her father or loathed him- he was a good man. However she had always been closer to her mother, while Ruby had been daddy's little girl. His expectations of her had always been higher because she had been the first born and at times she had thought it impossible to please him. She had done well in school, had been a good kid at him, but still she had never heard a word of praise of him. She knew he was speaking of her accomplishments with others, just never with her.

With a heavy weight on her shoulders she rang the doorbell and waited for the door to be opened and the lecture to come.

"Miss Julia," her father's housekeeper smiled when she saw her, but Julia couldn't feel the same happiness upon seeing Fanny. She liked her alright, just the situation wasn't one where she could feel anything but anxiety.

"Good evening Fanny," she greeted her and even managed to put a small smile on her face.

"We are making a delicious meal for you. And your father is so happy to see you again. It's been a while," Fanny went on and took Julia's hat and coat.

"I can hardly wait," Julia replied and felt like running. Still, she stepped into the living room, knowing her father would wait there for her. He was sitting on front of the fireplace, newspaper in hand, just like she had always known him.

"Good evening Julia," he said as soon as she had closed the door behind her.

"Good evening father," she replied, went over to him and placed a kiss on his cheek.

"I have to say I expected you would stop by, by yourself after you broke an engagement and not sent your ex-fiancé to notify us of the change in your plans," he started his lecture.

"I didn't sent Darcy, father. He stopped by to tell you goodbye, nothing more and nothing less," she corrected him and sat down on the chair across from his.

"He wasn't too forthcoming on why your engagement ended. Could you enlighten your father?" he requested and finally put the newspaper down to look at her. It was the look she had got too often in her life, the judgmental one.

"I couldn't go through with it. I didn't love him," she knew he wouldn't accept anything but total honesty.

"Didn't love him?" he asked and raised one eyebrow. "Julia, my child, how often do I have to tell you that love is overrated? Nowadays everybody wants to marry for love and then, what happens? The infatuation goes away and all that is left is misery and disappointment. How often did I tell you that you should marry for friendship and companionship, not for fleeting romantic ideas?" he asked and she knew that this was only the overture to a speech she had heard one time too often. It had been what had made her fight for education and a job. Since she had been a girl she knew that she would marry for love or not at all. Her father droned on and she sat quietly and thought of William's kind eyes and these ridiculous long lashes of his. Her imagination made her father vanish and drowned out his speech. She hoped this evening would be over sooner than later.

TBC

[camilla]

Soo sorry for your pet Akarana,is very sad lose a pet,for me they Are part of the family!
Lovely chapter and thank you for write it for us,i can immagine write in these situations can be' hard!i'm happy that you continue however to' write for your fans )

[randomkiwibirds]

Beautiful! Will be reading and reading again and agian!

[akarana]

Thank you for your comments. Sorry it took me so long again (and the next one will probably take just as long). I'm teaching holiday courses for the kids at the moment, which means more work then I usually have, with program from morning to evening with food and stuff in between.... One more week, then I'm free to write again

This is another filler chapter, the fun stuff is ahead

Chapter 20

Julia and her father had dived into small-talk during dinner, after she had remained silent when he had finally been done with his lecture. That's why Julia nearly choked on her desert when he suddenly changed the topic again.

"Dawson tells me you and this detective are quite close again," he said, his voice full of disapproval.

"You have Dawson spying on me?" Julia decided that attack was the best defense in this case.

"Oh don't be ridiculous Julia. After I didn't hear from you and you never answered my invitations I wanted to know what was going on. She mentioned that she hadn't seen you in days because you spend all your time at his place," he shocked her once more, this time with his and Dawson's indiscretion.

"Even the nights," he added and she swallowed hard. "Don't you have anything to say to that?" he asked harshly when she didn't say anything.

"Why don't you ask Dawson for an explanation?" she provoked him, so furious she could hardly breathe.

"Don't you dare talking to me like that," he yelled and his fist slammed down on the table so that the china shook. "You're a respected doctor from a good family and you're throwing away your reputation for that catholic copper? Are you out of your mind?"

"Like you ever cared for what I achieved professionally. You would like nothing more than to see me marrying a rich snob and become a mother and housewife. But that will never happen," she yelled back. She had never really been afraid of her father and her mother had been a very modern woman, who had showed her daughters to stand up for what they wanted.

"You can stay single all your life if that's what makes you happy, but I won't have you ruin your life by being the mistress of this detective. The whole city will be talking and your career will be over," her father shot back. Julia took a deep breath and tried to calm herself. She knew they both had a temper and this talk would end like their confrontations always ended: in a shouting match until she would leave and then not talk to him for several weeks. This was too important to her, however and she knew she had to try at least to make him understand.

"His name is William and I care for him very deeply. He was the reason I couldn't go through with marrying Darcy. I have loved him for too long. It's him I marry or no one. Lucky for me, he returns my feelings. He asked me to marry him and I accepted his proposal. If I hadn't been so rash when I left for Buffalo I would already be his wife, because he had the ring since then," she said as calmly as possible and showed him the ring on her necklace. "We're both aware that it is too soon for us to get married after the whole affair with Darcy, but as soon as possible it will happen," she tucked the necklace back under her dress so the ring was hidden once more. "And as for Dawson's gossip about me staying at his place: William was hurt at work and I needed to stay with him and look after him until he got better. If that is considered improper, then so be it, but I'm not leaving the side of the man I lovew hen he is hurting and needing me," she finished and placed her napkin from her lap on the table, signalizing that she was done. When her father didn't reply she slowly got up and put the chair back on the table.

"I want to meet him. Then I'll decide if I can give my blessing to this union or not," her father finally spoke again just when she wanted to leave the room. "Not that my blessing means anything to you," he added quietly.

"It means a lot to me," Julia admitted and turned back around to face him. "but I won't give him up if you'll disapprove," she clarified and kissed him gently on the cheek again.

"Goodbye father," she said then and left the room, closing the door behind her.

~*~

William opened his eyes and looked around the dark room, wondering why he was up. It was pitch black and must still be in the middle of the night. He thought he had heard something, but as he listened everything remained silent. He closed his eyes again and hoped that sleep would find him once more. It had been hard enough to fall asleep the first time, without Julia by his side.

When he heard a tentative knock on the door he opened his eyes again and got out of bed. So there had been some noise. he put on his robe and made his way to the door and opened it slowly, not sure what to expect in the middle of the night. Most likely it was Crabtree calling him to another crime scene.

He was surprised to see Julia standing in front of his door, looking a bit disheveled and really upset.

"I'm sorry William to wake you, I know it's late and you must have been asleep and... I shouldn't have come. Go back to sleep," she stuttered and turned around to leave, but he caught her hand and gently pulled her inside.

"Are you alright, Julia?" he asked her and knew that it must have been her father who had upset her so.

"Yes, I just needed to see you," she replied, stepped into his arms and wrapped hers around his middle, while she buried her face in his chest. He held her tight, feeling how tense she was. Gently he began to stroke up and down along her spine and waited until she seemed to relax until he spoke again.

"Come in and tell me what happened," he said gently and closed the door behind them once they were standing in his room again.

"My father told me again that one shouldn't marry for love. then he called me your mistress and finally he said he wants to meet you," she summed up the important points of her visit and felt herself getting angry again.

"Alright," William agreed, but swallowed hard before when she had talked about the other things Mr. Ogden had said. It seemed obvious now from which part of her parents Julia had inherited her bluntness.

"I want to stay here tonight," she blurted out next, seemingly unrelated to what they had talked about before.

"Of course," he agreed again and pulled her closer to him.

"William, do you think that maybe my father is right? Maybe we are crazy to marry for love and not for friendship. What if when the butterflies are gone we really get bitter and don't like each other anymore. There's not that much that we have in common," Julia worried and looked up at him.

"Can you marry for both love and friendship? I consider you my best friend as well as the woman I love and trust. I don*t think that will change. and for the things we have in common: Are you willing to make an experiment?" he asked her with a small smile that managed to lighten the mood.

"An experiment?" she asked disbelievingly.

"I will take you on various dates over the next few weeks we'll see what we like and don't like. Maybe we'll have more in common than you think," he told her his plan.

"I'd like that," she nodded and smiled for the first time since she had arrived at his place. Also because she knew that by going on several dates at one point their secret would get out and the town would know that they were courting again. She kissed him then for his genius idea, but had to pull back when she had to yawn. a bit embarrassed she giggled into his chest afterwards.

"We should sleep. We both have to work tomorrow and you are exhausted. Come, I'll help you unpin your hair," he offered and couldn't help but think how much he'd like to help her undress as well. But she was tired and there would be other nights, even if it would get harder once Mrs. Kitchen was back.

TBC

[jbork1979]

Good stuff, akarana! Thanks for writing!

[lilmon]

I'm glad you could write a new chapter and I'm patiently waiting for the next one!
lilmon

[akarana]

Thank you for your kind reviews! They made me write down this chapter much faster!

Chapter 21

"Good evening, William," Julia greeted him after she had opened the door to her house herself and had stepped outside. This was it, the night of their first official date since the end of her engagement. The times of hiding and sneaking around were over, to their mutual relief, and they both knew that while the talk might become unpleasant, in the end it was easier for them to pursue their relationship while it was out in the open. William had insisted o keeping it a secret what his plans for this evening were and all he had told Julia was to dress for a date- a real one. So now she was standing in front of him in a light blue satin dress, that was embroidered with white lace and had a neckline that left little to the imagination. her blonde curls were pinned up and only some strands danced around her face. She wore his necklace with his ring and a pair of earrings that matched her dress. For short, she looked breathtaking.

"Wow, Julia... I really don't know what to say," William commented and made a hand movement that made clear, that he was commenting on her outfit.

"I take it as a compliment that it seems to leave you speechless," she replied with a cocky little smile playing on her lips.

"You absolutely should," he smiled back and offered her his arm to lead her to the carriage.

"Now, William, will you tell me where we are going?" she asked him as she walked beside him.

"Not yet. You just have to be patient and let me surprise you," he grinned and opened the carriage door for her.

"You know I am not good at being patient," she huffed as she sat down.

"I remember someone talking about wanting to be romanced. Who could that have been?" he laughed and followed her inside. then he closed the door and gave the driver a sign so he could go on.

"I am all for romance," Julia replied with a smile when they carriage started moving. William turned his body a bit to the side, then leaned over to her and gently pulled her close before he kissed her. Her eyes lightened up at the contact, before they fluttered shut and he closed his as well, so he could bask in the feeling of being completely alone with her for the first time in nearly two weeks. First Mrs. kitchen had come back and then a case, that had taken him out of town for over a week, had kept them apart. They had missed each other desperately and the few phone calls they had managed to sneak in hadn't nearly been enough. "Especially for uninhibited ones," she added with a large smile when they broke the kiss.

"A few weeks ago you would have shocked me with that statement and made me blush, doctor" William admitted laughingly and pulled her in a sideway hug.

"You're learning, detective," she said and rested her head against his chest, so she could feel his heartbeat through his shirt. They sat in silence for the rest of the drive and simply enjoyed being together. At one point Julia nearly fell asleep lying against Williams chest, but he brought her back to reality by tickling her neck with a strand of her hair when they arrived.

"We're here," he announced when the carriage stopped.

"Where are we?" she asked sleepily and sat back up straight so he could open the door. William didn't reply and instead stepped outside and helped her out of the carriage. "The theater?" Julia said when she realized where they were.

"Yes, they are playing Romeo and Juliette tonight and I managed to get to tickets," he finally told her what they were going to do.

"Oh, I love Shakespeare!" Julia exclaimed excitedly.

"I know," he laughed and offered her his arm, which she took. he was aware that he was throwing them into the shark tank by going to the theater. It was likely that they would meet someone they knew and by the next day it would be all over town that they were seeing each other again. But being with Julia for the past weeks, and especially being apart from her for the last one, had made him realize that there was no way he could be without her again. They loved each other, they belonged together and the rest of the world better accepted that, because they had no choice.

They walked inside, handed their coats over to the employees and presented their tickets. Then they got themselves a glass of champagne each and moved to a quiet corner.

"Special occasion?" Julia smiled knowingly and pointed to his glass after he had taken the first sip.

"Very special," he winked back at her and that simple gesture made her pulse speed up. It was crazy how enamored she was with him.

"Have you seen anyone you know?" she asked him as they looked around the room.

"No, not yet. You?" he gave the question back to her.

"Do you see the man with the beard over by the entry?" she asked him and he sneaked a glance in the direction, then nodded. "It's an old friend of my father. When my mother was still alive he would barely stop by because she couldn't stand him, but since her death he is meeting my father for drinks at least twice a week," she let him know.

"Is he a business man , like your father?" William asked.

"No, he's a medicine professor at the university. one who believes that women shouldn't study at all," she said the last part with disapproval, of course.

"It take it you're not really fond of him either?" William smiled knowingly and took the last sip of his drink.

"No, I am not. Especially because his wife is an insufferable tattletale and never stops talking about other people's business," she complained and just then said woman came over together with her husband.

"Oh Julia, how nice to see you," she said with a wide, false smile.

"Mr. and Mrs. Donovan," Julia nodded politely but without any warmth.

"And you must be her fiancé," the Mrs. went on. "It's so nice to finally meet you. And here we were worrying about the poor girl after you cancelled the wedding on such a short notice," she said and touched William's arm conspiratorially. "My husband tells me you're a doctor, too?"

"This is detective William Murdoch of the Toronto constabulary," Julia introduced them without giving the nosy woman the satisfaction of giving her any kind of information of the status of her relationship with him.

"Oh, where have I heard your name before?" the woman wondered, while the disapproval in her husband's eyes showed that he knew who William was and what he was to Julia.

"We work together," William offered and felt Julia's hand coming to rest on the inside of his elbow as she linked her arm with his.

"How stupid of me! I always forget that dear Julia here is a working woman," Mrs. Donovan giggled exaggeratedly.

"Much to her father's distress," her husband added and William flinched when Julia unconsciously dug her fingernails into his arm. They were saved from more small talk by the bell, which announced that the play was about to start and they should take their seats.

"Insufferable people. I don't know how my father can stand them," Julia muttered when William led her away from them.

"Don' let them ruin our date for you. the evening has just started," William tried to calm her as he led her to their seats. Then the lights went out, the play started and everything was right in the world again when she sneaked his hand in his and he could caress the back of her hand with his fingers.

William let the theater visit be followed by a dinner at a nice restaurant in town and Julia worried for a moment if it wouldn't all be too much on his small detective salary. However he seemed to enjoy spoiling her for the night and so she kept her mouth shut about the subject and enjoyed his attention instead. They always found something to talk about or to discuss and neither was ever bored when they were together. Other men had bored her with details on accounting or with ravings about their family fortune or their achievements at their jobs. William never did that. Sometimes it happened that they were on the opposite sides of an argument, but then they simply discussed it and it was alright for both parties to accept the opinion of the other.

The food had been wonderful and even William had had a glass or two of red wine, followed by a piece of cake as desert, which they had shared. Afterwards they went back to the carriage and this time the silence between them wasn't as comfortable. It was laced with a certain tension, because both knew how they wanted the evening to end, but didn't want to say anything because they knew that Dawson would tell Julia's father again and this time they wouldn't have an excuse. there was no child and William wasn't hurt, so spending the night together would be the last nail in the coffin, so to speak. When the carriage stopped in front of Julia's place and they both got out it was time to face their dilemma.

"I hope you liked our first official date," William asked her and still kept the door o the carriage open so he could go back inside.

"Very much. It was a lovely evening," Julia assured him.

"Then sleep well," he said as a goodbye and lightly kissed her cheek. When he pulled back his eyes met hers and they both couldn't resist. it had been too long and before they knew it they stood out on the dark street, kissing passionately while holding each other as close as possible.

"William, please... please come in," Julia said and didn't mind that it sounded like begging.

"I want to, I really do," he muttered between kisses, " but I don't think it's a good idea." His lips returned to hers once more for another long kiss.

"Please," she said again and this time it sounded less like it was spoken in a passionate haze, but like something she really needed. when he pulled back and looked into her eyes he could see the same longing he felt reflected in them. So he nodded quietly and gave her another soft kiss before he closed the door of the carriage and sent the driver away, before he followed her into her eyes were they were save from most of the prying eyes.

TBC

Question for the readers: Will it get dirty again or not?

[lilmon]

Was it a poetical question? If you mean dirty = romantic and steamy , of course my answer is yes!
lilmon

[camilla]

Finally read the chapters,always a great work Akarana!for answer your question,yes,of course William get dirty again!and after the last Murdoch episode(the last scene) all want a lot of passion and love in this show!!

[jbork1979]

I miss your writing, akarana! The show is frustrating me by keeping William and Julia apart. Your writing satisfies me by allowing them to be together. Keep up the good work!